


Legos Are The One True Enemy

by shakethatcas



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Legos, M/M, Rated M for language, sword fighting with fake dicks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-31
Updated: 2016-03-31
Packaged: 2018-05-30 06:14:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6412279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shakethatcas/pseuds/shakethatcas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: kuroo stepping on a lego and being very dramatic about it; so dramatic it turns into the Scene Where The Love Of The Main Character Dies and preferably its bokuto helping him with it (duh), kenma and akaashi just... wondering wat did they do to deserve This Fucking Mess. may contain 'im gonna push this lego pyramid up ur ass' threats.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Legos Are The One True Enemy

**Author's Note:**

> I still suck at titles and this isn't beta'd so let me know if you see any mistakes.

Kuroo and Bokuto got Legos when on their last store trip, a lot of Legos. Apparently there was some clearance where they combined a bunch of broken boxes and sold them for really cheap so they picked up a few containers. A few containers that had A LOT of Legos.

Two grown ass men sitting on the floor absolutely elated to be making pyramids out of small plastic blocks. Akaashi and Kenma were not as amused. They were sitting on the couch next to each other with their legs crisscrossed, knees brushing when they moved slightly. They were watching their boyfriends.

Bokuto and Kuroo thought it was an amazing idea to see who could make the biggest dick out of the Legos. At first Kenma and Akaashi still acted completely done with their shit but as the dicks got more and more wild they couldn’t help the small snickers that escaped their mouths. At one point Bokuto tried to make his curve, but when he was done he had a dick with a 90 angle. Ouch. Kuroo’s ended up being longer and thicker than his arm at one point.

Once Bokuto got his fixed the two of them proceeded to sword fight with their creations.

“Time to see who has the strongest one!” Bokuto wailed.

“Eat my dick!” Kuroo screeched.

“Maybe later,” Bokuto replied with a wink.

With a battle cry the fight commenced. Turns out that Legos are really strong, after 5 solid minutes of profanity being yelled and many insults being thrown neither of their sculptures broke. At some point they called a truce, they were both out of phallic related puns and out of breath from their courageous battle.

“Now, you guys get to clean up the mess,” Akaashi commented from their place on the couch.

At some point during the battle Akaashi had gotten up and made tea for Kenma so they were now back on the couch cradling their mugs in their hands both with their too long sweater sleeves covering their skin so the mug wouldn’t burn them.

“Ugh, I was dreading this,” Kuroo whined.

“Come on bro if we work together we can get it done faster,” Bokuto replied.

“That’s the most grown up thing I’ve heard them say all day,” Kenma mused from his spot next to Akaashi.

“That’s harsh Kenma,” Kuroo teased while holding his chest.

“Well it’s true, get to cleaning so we can cuddle without hearing the word dick every 20 seconds.” Kenma snarked back.

“fiiinnneee,” Kuroo and Bokuto whined at the same time.

After a few seconds it was apparent that they had a race going to see who could fill the containers first. When all of the reachable Legos were cleaned up it was time to get up and gather the ones that had flown through the room during their brawl. Kuroo stood up at the same time as Bokuto and took two steps before screeching and launching himself into Bokuto’s arms.

“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ON A CRACKER OW OW OW!” Kuroo continued to screech.

Bokuto, who caught Kuroo on instinct was trying to figure out what happened.

“I think Mr. Macho right here just stepped on a Lego,” Kenma deadpanned.

“Bokuto! I’m dying, save me!” Kuroo was whimpering and clutching his foot, somehow still in Bokuto’s arms.

“It will all be fine my fair mai…bro,” Bokuto was playing along.

“However will I live through this traumatizing endeavor??” Kuroo wailed.

“Here let me set you down in this fine meadow of flowers and I will treat your wounds appropriately”

“HOLY SHIT BOKUTO PICK ME UP PICK ME UP PICK ME UP THOSE AREN’T FLOWERS THERE’S MORE LEGOS” Kuroo was screeching again.

“Well, good news is you found the rest of the Legos….with your back,” Kenma and Akaashi were chuckling to themselves again.

“SHIT MAN I’M SORRY HERE I’LL PUT YOU ON THE COUCH”

Bokuto picked Kuroo back up again and set him on the couch with his head in Kenma’s lap and his legs dangling over the arm of the other side.

“I’ll get the rest of the carpet mines while you lay there for now.”

“Kuroo you’ve invaded our territory,” Akaashi grumbled.

“This is the couch for the adults,” Kenma added.

Kenma, after checking that area was free of the evil blocks, rolled Kuroo off of the couch and onto the floor.

“KENMA YOU’RE SO MEAN”

“The kids stay on the floor, this is Akaashi and my cuddle area which is free of large boyfriends that like to screech and fight with phallic shaped killer Legos.”

Bokuto, having found the rest of the visible Legos and put them away, came to Kuroo’s rescue.

“It’s okay babe, I’m done now,” Bokuto says as he puts Kuroo’s head in his lap.

“How about a kiss for this bro in distress?” Kuroo asks with his trademark smirk.

“How could I ever refuse such a request?”

Bokuto leans in and kisses Kuroo spiderman style, holding Kuroo’s cheeks in each hand and leaning down over his face until their lips meet.

“I’m done, come on Kenma lets go cuddle elsewhere,” Akaashi grumbles.

“Yeah, let’s go to the room so I can get my DS,” Kenma replies.

Akaashi and Kenma set off without even a wave to their two boyfriends, they’re too busy kissing to notice anyways.

~

Both of the Lego dicks end up on either side of the TV because Kuroo and Bokuto insist that they’re art and should be appreciated as such. Kenma and Akaashi let them stay because it’s better than finding them in other places.

Even after a week of the Legos being banned from getting opened the little blocks are still being found around the living room. Every few days they would hear someone screech and know that another Lego was found.

Kenma and Akaashi after doing a thorough cleaning and finding all of the Legos gave all of the containers to Oikawa to let his family play with when they visited. He’ll learn eventually that they’re not as great as they seem.

**Author's Note:**

> You can come scream with me about volleydorks at [ cas-hyung ](http://cas-hyung.us/) or send me bokuakakuroken prompts.
> 
> Constructive criticism is encouraged.


End file.
